Don't underestimate my ideals
by liulishu
Summary: based off the anime episode 6&7. My own take on the events and Kunikida's connection to the azure king and the truth behind it. Non-canon. Possible sequel.


I wrote this after watching episode 6&7 of Bungou stray dogs. A friendly reminder that this is my own take on the story and the connection between Kunikida and the azure king. I have not read any material from the light novel nor the manga so this is NOT canon. Watching episode 6&7 will give you a better understanding of what's taking place since I do skip some parts but if you wish to not watch it, go ahead – but I mean go watch it, you won't regret it…. Plus you get to see Kunikida's butt. (Head on to my wattpad to enjoy reading this fic with screenshots of the anime)

* * *

[this takes place around 2.5 years ago when Kunikida first joined the armed detective agency]

"Kunikida-san?" a voice called out from the closed door.

It's her again. He knows better than to expect that woman would leave him alone when he hadn't reported back to the agency in five days. He was a man who planned everything and anything, and yet he didn't even come up with an excuse to not show up for work.

There was too much going on right now.

"Kunikida-san! It's Haruko!"

Her voice called out again.

No, he wasn't ready to go out into the world, go back to this line of work again. It wasn't as if he disliked his work – but with the recent case he got involved in….it was just too much for him to handle.

one week ago, he was working on a serial murder case - the type that wasn't pretty and it was the worst of luck for a rookie like him to have a case like this as his first. His incompetence should not have been tolerated – too many died on his watch. He was gifted, an abnormal ability user – and yet he couldn't save them. He couldn't save these innocent people from suffering tragic deaths when they were just right in front of him.

One week ago, nine people died tragic deaths as they were turned into human furniture by a psycho serial killer – and it was all his fault.

Why wasn't he strong enough?

Why wasn't he fast enough?

Why hadn't he saw it coming?

If he had tried a little more…. things would have been different. These people wouldn't have died meaningless deaths. They could have been still alive…he could have made the _difference_ between death and life for the victims.

 _People shouldn't die like this._

Kunikida felt his sore eyes twitchand stared at his blank right hand.

 _How could I say that when I killed the very person I swore to protect?_

Kunikida's lips trembled as he dug his face into the palms of his hand. It was his fault, his responsibility and he failed – and many died as a result.

More knocks sounded from the door.

"Kunikida-san. I know you're in there!" She called out.

She was going to break down this door by force if it meant getting in.

Her fingers trailed along her left wrist as she took a deep breath ready to activate her powers.

" _Yi no ryouku – chi-_ " Her voice called as she stepped away from the door. (1)

Suddenly the door crashed open with a furious Kunikida appearing.

" _Kisama_! Who do you think you are to use your abnormal powers in my house?! Who's going to pay for the property damage fees?" Kunikida yelled as he stood in the doorway. (2)

Haruko looked up to meet the tall man's sharp yellow eyes.

 _He's not wearing his glasses because…_

"Were you crying?" She said, sympathy in her voice.

Kunikida backed away from her.

"Of course not!"

Haruko frowned. She should have known better – after all, she was his partner for this case. She knew better than anyone else what this line of work meant. She too saw bodies, bloodied and severed – she too felt the need to blame _someone_ for what happened to those innocent people.

Kunikida furiously wiped his eyes and scowled.

 _how embarrassing for her to see me like this._

Haruko's fingers traveled to the bridge of his nose as she stood on her tip toes. She wiped away the small tears forming the edge of his eyes and stared into the most stunning yellow eyes she had ever laid eyes on.

"Don't hide them. Tears are a sign of strength; they symbolize emotion – it's what makes us human." Haruko started.

Kunikida stared into ocean blue eyes and gaped. Her eyes were a deep shade of blue and green, something in between the two. Somehow, they mesmerized him to no end.

"You know with our abilities – people tend to believe we're immortal, like we're perfect beings, gods…."

Kunikida noticed how long her eyelashes were for the first time.

"But we're anything but perfect. I like to think we were given these powers because we lack something…. And these powers are given to us to make up for it. We're not perfect…. we're the same old fragile beings. We still feel pain, hurt and make mistakes – we're not perfect and yet people expect us to be. When something goes haywire – they start asking why abnormal ability users didn't do anything. The thing is…. just because we have special powers doesn't mean we can save _everyone._ "

Kunikida frowned.

"We can't save everyone…. God couldn't even save everyone. What makes us think we are worthy of being able to prevent every death we encounter?" Haruko said as she closed her eyes.

"I couldn't even save my own little brother from dying."

Kunikida looked up in surprise.

 _Brother?_

"I should have been able to do something. I was gifted. I had power – and yet I couldn't save him. I was powerless and I did nothing…. I could have saved him, _should_ have – but I didn't. He was wrong, he strayed to the wrong path and I wanted him to know that there were consequences to his actions…. and I regretted every bit of it. If I had tried…. He could have been alive." Haruko's voice is small and fragile, her hands traveling to her pockets fishing out for a pack of cigarettes.

Kunikida didn't even know she smoked.

She lights a cigarette and takes a big puff out of it.

"I tried to commit suicide. I tried to find an easy way out of this – because all I felt was how much I hated myself. All I did was blame myself for the very things I couldn't control… the thing is… no matter how much I try to live my life in grief and misery, it's not going to bring him back to life. he's not going to have any sort of remorse in his death…. There is nothing I can do other than living on and telling myself I would never, ever repeat the same mistakes again."

She exhales and lets out a big puff of smoke.

" **Never again**."

* * *

 _What is the ideal?_

 _There are a number of answers to that question._

 _It is words, it is thought._

 _It is the font of all meaning._

His sharp yellow eyes stared at the outside of his window. His socks cladded feet are against the tatami mats that he just cleaned.

 _But if you were to ask me, the answer to that question is as clear as daylight._

His hands brush over the hardcover of his notebook.

 _It is the word written on my notebook's cover._

His hands reach for his expensive watch and clasps it around his wrist.

 _The ideal…._

He reaches for his glasses and puts them on – clouding his sharp yellow eyes.

 _Everything about me is written in this notebook._

He gets up from his sitting position and stands up to meet the shining sunlight from his window.

 _My schedule, my plans, my goals._

He picks up his notebook and shoves his hands into the pockets of his tailored trousers.

 _This notebook contains the entirety of my future._

* * *

The elevator stopped on the top floor as he looked at his watch.

"I'm a whole ten seconds early today." Kunikida said as he looked at his watch.

 _My name is Kunikida Doppo. I'm an idealist walking the earth and a pragmatist in pursuit of ideals._

"It's time. Good morning-"

"Kunikida-san! Please help us!" the boy with silver hair yells with tears falling down his face.

Kunikida's hands are tucked in the pockets of his trousers.

"What is it so early in the morning?" Kunikida asks.

 _It's too early for this._

"Just look at Dazai-san-" Atsushi says.

"Ah! Kunikida-kun! It's an emergency!" Dazai says with a wicked smile on his face as he stands on top of the table.

Kunikida chooses to not reply to the idiocy of his suicidal partner.

"Just look at this!" Dazai says pointing to the air above him.

"Look at what? I only see your idiot face."

Dazai filled with excitement and starts making hand gestures to match with his wicked sly grin.

"I've finally arrived in the afterlife – _yomotsuhirasaka_." (3)

Kunikida furrows his eyebrows and sighs.

"What is wrong with him this time?"

"Blue smoke trailing around the ground-" Dazai continues rambling about.

"Kunikida-san. I think this may explain it." Atsushi says as he grabs ' _the complete guide to suicide'_ and a weird colored looking mushroom.

"I knew the complete guide to suicide was a masterpiece! Who knew all I had to do was eat mushrooms growing on a nearby hill to have such an entertaining way out?!" Dazai yells followed by sinister laughter.

Kunikida clicks his tongue in annoyance.

"So he ate poisonous mushrooms?"

"Well, he thought he was eating lethal mushrooms but-"

Dazai's death grip is on Atsushi as he tries to strangle the poor boy.

"I've finally captured you, rainbow pillbug!" Dazai yells in excitement.

"Kunikida-san!" Atsushi yells for help.

Kunikida sits on his chair and flips open his laptop revealing the agency's customized software.

"I'm doing my customary paperwork after arriving at work. Wait till I'm done." Kunikida could barely care for the poor lad's life that was being threatened by Dazai.

Atsushi's tears rolled down his face as Dazai strangled him.

"Again? Give Atsushi-kun a rest would you, Dazai." A feminine voice calls out as she steps into the office.

Kunikida continues typing on his laptop and doesn't turn his head. He knows it's her. She's the only one who arrives at the office before 9am other than him, Atsushi and Dazai.

"Doing paperwork so early already, Kunikida-kun? You'll get wrinkles on your forehead you know." Her voice is laced with sarcasm and a giggle at the end.

"I don't want to hear that from you." Kunikida replied.

"Please save me, Haruko-san!" Atsushi said with a muffled voice.

 _Honmio_ Haruko Enomoto, but everyone calls her Haruko Airi instead. 21 years old. Member of the Armed Detective Agency. Strawberry chocolate locks that barely reached her shoulders, adorned with a floral pink _kamikazari_ attached to the right side of her bangs. She had pale porcelain skin and the most mesmerizing sky blue eyes. Her red lips were smeared into a thin smile as she got up from her seat. (4), (5)

"Dazai-kun." She started with a smile.

Dazai closes in on Kobayashi as if ready to strangle her.

"I've captured you _Nijiro Tentomushi_ -" Dazai said with a smile as he got punched in the face from Haruko. (6)

"Arh…." Dazai mumbled through his bloodied nose.

Haruko Airi was one of the most feared women in all of Yokohama.

* * *

"Atsushi-Kun. Did you know that Kunikida-kun has perfect vision?" Haruko starts.

"Eh? Then why does he wear glasses at all?" Atsushi asks.

"Because Kunikida-kun thinks people will only take him seriously if he wore glasses. I personally think he looks better without them though." Haruko says reading through a book.

 _That sounds exactly like Kunikida-san._

"Shut up, Haruko!" Kunikida yells trying to type on his laptop.

"Eh, I told you to call me Airi instead so many times already – _Kechi_." (7)

"Kunikida-kun~" Dazai starts as he stands on top of his desk and pinches Kunikida's cheeks.

"Come to the afterlife! It's amazing! You can eat all you want. You can drink all you want. All the rainbow pillbugs – and you can look at all the sleeping beauties you could possibly-"

Kunikida slams his laptop shut and flips Dazai to the ground like a wrestling championship.

"Shut up!" Kunikida yells.

 _Why are two so incompatible people partners?_

"Kunikida-san. The president has your case for the day." The secretary comes in with a clipboard and a smile.

* * *

"Are you afraid of ghosts or something, Kunikida-san?" Atsushi says as he follows Dazai.

Kunikida shrieks and trails behind.

"I'm not afraid of ghosts!"

Haruko laughed to herself.

"Then keep up." She said.

"Fool! In this sort of movie, those who are careless and get ahead of themselves are the first to get sacrificed!"

"Then would you like me to hold your hand, Kunikida-kun?" Haruko asks laughing.

Kunikida was a 22-year-old man who was 189cm tall and weighed around 80kg – he could take down people twice his size without even breaking a sweat and yet here he was, scared of ghosts.

"Shut up! Let's see who's the one laughing when you're the first one to get sacrificed to-" Kunikida says before getting interrupted.

"Look at these footprints! They're still fresh…."

 _Someone's here._

Haruko turns around as she hears something.

"Help me!" A scream yells.

"That voice…"

"It's coming from the basement!" Kunikida says as we follow to the basement.

The sound of overflowing water gets louder as they see a woman trapped in a fish tank overflowing with water.

"What is this?!" Kunikida starts.

He stares at the body of a female sinking in the tank, her brown hair flowing as her ocean blue eyes pierced right through him.

He gasped in shock.

 **He knew those eyes.**

 **How could he ever forget?**

 _Fear._

He was terrified. She was going to die if he didn't do something.

Without a second to lose his right hand is on the barrel of his gun aiming at the fish tank.

And he fires.

* * *

"Thank you. You saved me." Sasaki says through muffled coughs.

"My name is Sasaki Nobuko. I'm a lecturer at Tokyo University."

Dazai gave the woman his coat and smiled.

"Sasaki _jousei_. Did you see who did this do you?" Haruko asked. (8)

"I'm sorry. I blacked out at a station and collapsed. When I regained consciousness, I was drowning in the tank, as you just saw."

"Dazai, what's your take on the situation?" Kunikida asked.

"Sasaki-san's looking super sexy."

Kunikida felt a nerve twitch on his temple.

"Be serious!"

"Ah, that's right. There should be others who were abducted here." Sasaki turned her head to meet Kunikida's eyes but he turned away immediately.

"As I was drowning I know I heard voices screaming." Kunikida looked up to meet her ocean blue eyes.

"What?"

* * *

"Kunikida-san! Here!" Atsushi's voice is loud.

Four men were being trapped inside a large glass room. They were screaming, scared and yelling for help.

"Please save us. Please!"

They yelled and Kunikida tried banging on the glass panel but nothing worked.

Gas started erupting from the top of the glass room and Haruko shouted.

"Gas!" Haruko shouted.

The men inside the glass panels started coughing and collapsing to the ground.

"Hey, hang in there!" Kunikida yells as loud as he can. He tries banging on the glass panel, this time harder.

All he can hear is the fast heartbeat in his chest.

Fear.

 _No. they're innocent. They can't die - Not on my watch._

 _Too many people have died._

 _They don't deserve to die._

 _No one does._

 _I can't go through that again – I can't repeat the same mistakes again._

"Stand back Atsushi-kun, Haruko-chan! You too Kunikida-"

Dazai tries to hold back Kunikida from getting any closer to the glass panel.

"Let go of me, Dazai! **People shouldn't die like this**!" Kunikida's screams echo loudly around the room.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

Haruko could never seem to forget the desperate yells Kunikida made that echoed in her mind.

* * *

 _Powerless._

If he had power, if he was stronger – they wouldn't have to die. They were just right in front of him, and yet – he couldn't save them.

He didn't deserve to call himself a detective when he couldn't even protect innocent people while he stood there, staring and did nothing.

He thought he could bring justice to the world, to this city – he thought he could make a difference and stray from the dark path that surrounded him. He thought he could do it – his ideals were to serve justice and make this world a better place….and yet day by day the body count only increased.

"Victims of Yokohama's serial abduction case were found, but suffered tragic deaths when a civilian detective agency conducted an independent raid." Atsushi-kun said as he read the newspaper on his desk.

"Tragic death huh…."

Haruko looked up from her book to the newspaper article.

 _Someone's trying to set up the detective agency._

"So this was the enemy's objective." Kunikida says.

"You're saying they were trying to frame the agency?"

"Maybe it wasn't my time to shine, just as what Dazai said." Kunikida's eyes cast downwards to the floor.

Haruko frowned. She hadn't seen the strict, OCD Kunikida-kun like this in a long time. The last time was when he first started joining the agency….

"A personal grudge against the agency, huh? this isn't the way the Mafia operates…" Haruko said.

"Where is Sasaki _joushi_?" Kunikida asks. (8)

"She should be at the infirmary though."

* * *

"Oh, that's great." Sasaki said through giggles.

Kunikida walked in and glared at both Sasaki and Dazai as he raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you so much for saving me the other day, Kunikida-sama. If you hadn't come when you did, I wouldn't be alive right now."

She was beautiful. She had the most perfect black hair and feminine composure. She smiled every time she ended her sentence and talked in the most graceful way Kunikida could imagine. Her cheeks flushed as she smiled and Kunikida knew why that particular _person_ had loved her.

"Not at all."

"Not to mention, you even let me stay at your residence last night."

Dazai smiled.

"Eh?" Kunikida and Atsushi asked.

"Where did you stay?" Atsushi asks.

Sasaki blushed as she looked at Dazai from the corner of her eyes.

"My place." Dazai announced proudly.

"What?!" Kunikida yelled.

"Dazai-sama….I'm deeply indebted to you." Sasaki says.

 _That sly fox!_

Haruko shook her head. This is why men were considered trash….

 _But if Dazai is sticking close to her…._

Haruko scrunched her eyes at Sasaki as she laughed.

 _There's more to her than meets the eye._

Haruko frowned.

"See?" Dazai was having fun seeing Kunikida's reaction. He just loved teasing his partner.

"W-what…." Kunikida was in utter shock.

"I-is that something detectives are allowed to do?" Atsushi asked.

"I hope he doesn't ask Sasaki-san to commit double suicide with him though…." Haruko sighed.

* * *

Atsushi glared from the corner of his eyes as Dazai continued typing on his laptop. Dazai was making the witness profile of Sasaki.

"It seems Sasaki-san didn't see who it was. She apparently faints a lot due to anemia. That's why she fainted on the day she was abducted too. I don't know how she was abducted afterwards."

Kunikida glared at his partner.

 _Why would someone as beautiful as Sasaki be interested in this lowlife?_

"So, she's your type?" Kunikida asked as he scowled.

Haruko stared at Dazai.

"I like all women." Dazai said as if it was the most common thing in the world.

"But Sasaki-san seems like the type who'd commit suicide with me if I ask, which is nic-"

Kunikida scowled even deeper and clicked his tongue.

 _I lost to a suicidal maniac?_

"But what about you, Kunikida-kun? Is she your type?"

"She is a victim in the case and a witness. That's all there is."

It was obvious he was lying. He looked like he was about blow up in annoyance.

Haruko stared at Kunikida. Her eyes looked at him and her mouth hung open. Haruko frowned.

"Kunikida-kun ideal type of women is Sasaki-san huh…." Haruko started. Her eyes casted downwards to her lap as she closed her eyes.

 _Expected. Who am I to judge?_

Dazai stared at Haruko.

"I said there is nothing more than that, Haruko!" Kunikida yelled.

"Well, that's how you would roll huh….Oh right! Haruko-chan, Atsushi-kun - would you like to read Kunikida-kun's ideal type of woman?" Dazai chirped happily.

"Huh?! _Kisama!_ When did yo-" (2)

Kunikida frantically tried to get his notebook back.

"Eh… it's written in here?" Haruko asked.

"Kunikida's notebook has everything from a wide range of schedules, plans, and ideals recorded in it. See, like here!"

She and Atsushi scanned the page and paled out.

"This is a bit too much…" Atsushi said.

 _165cm._

 _52kg._

 _D cup._

 _Black hair._

 _Blue eyes._

 _Likes to read._

 _Graceful, kind and beautiful._

 _Will do fifty shades-_

"Kunikida-kun's ideal women is…..? Brah!" Haruko laughed frantically.

"Haruko _kisama_!" Kunikida yells. (2)

She was so going to make fun of him for this for the rest of her life.

"I didn't take you as someone who has such unique tastes, Kunikida-kun." Haruko laughed again.

She wiped a tear from the edge of her eyes and sighed.

 _The only thing I have in common is blue eyes…._

"You have a problem with that?" Kunikida threatened with a frown.

"Nope, not at all!" Haruko said.

Dazai watched and frowned but quickly regained his classic smile.

"You shouldn't probably share that vision with women." Dazai teased.

Kunikida's right eye twitched.

"Enough about me! We're talking about the abductions right now! Have we picked up on anything?"

Haruko got up from her seat and looked at her wrist watch.

"I've figured out the culprit, come with me." Kunikida's voice yelled out.

Haruko stared into yellow eyes and smiled.

"Have fun. I'm running my own investigation." Haruko said.

Kunikida raised an eyebrow but dismissed the idea.

* * *

The taxi driver admitted to being the culprit. He was working with an organ trafficking organization. Dazai took him into the military police's custody.

Haruko tapped her finger on her chin.

One hour ago, he was found dead with the number 00 on his wrist.

 _An abnormal ability?_

Haruko looked at the case file titled: _Confidential, case file: The Azure King._

 _Why was Sasaki-san the only one in the fish tank whereas everyone else was in the glass room?_

Haruko took a cigarette from the pocket of her dress and lit it. She took in a large breath of the cigarette and exhaled.

 _I really shouldn't be smoking._

"Kunikida-kun's ideal woman is Sasaki Nobuko….." She whispered to herself.

She took another puff of the cigarette and exhaled.

"I could never be anywhere close to her…."

There were more pressing matters right now than to think about comparing herself to a woman who was supposedly a victim in a serial abduction case. Right now, Yokohama could be bombed and reduced to an empty flat land.

The Azure messenger wanted the agency to fall to the ground. Looking at how the photo from the newspaper article was shot – the Azure's messenger had a grudge against Kunikida - Because he was the one who leaked information of the Azure king's hideout to the military police. The Azure messenger wants revenge on Kunikida – and there was no way she was going to let this villain get what he wanted and destroy what Kunikida had built for him over the years and let Yokohama get bombed.

Haruko scrunched her cigarette into the edge of the wall and threw it away.

"Love kills, doesn't it?"

* * *

 **Three years ago:**

Kunikida looked up to the large television screen on top of the building. His hands trembled and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"At present, the azure king has destroyed a total of 12 corporate and national buildings. The azure king is a former official and is targeting various targets, including killers whose cases were dropped due to incompetent prosecutors, as well as diet members who were engaged in political corruption on a global scale – all criminals who are untouchable by the justice system. This morning at 7am, the azure king has just issued an official statement. we will play the recording now-"

" _this world is incomplete. One may grieve or pray but people still die from accidental circumstance, and evil goes unpunished to flourish freely in this world. Then I shall desire the_ _ **ideal**_ _world, it will be built not by the hands of gods but by our own bloodied fingers…"_

"This man who calls himself the azure king is going around blowing up our buildings and causing damage saying he wants to prosecute criminals. Who does he think he is? He doesn't get to play god and decide who gets to live and who doesn't. we live in a world where law and justice exist – he does not get to kill anyone he thinks is unworthy!" one commenter on the show yelled.

"I for one think we need more of these people like the azure king. Think about it, these criminals are untouchable by law. Political members dressed in sheep's clothing acting like our savior, turns out he's just one of the people corrupting our city! For years – the rich stole from the poor and criminals were never brought to light. Let's face it the justice system is flawed – there will always be criminals who have the power and money to escape justice and in this corrupted system, we can only grieve and mourn. But what the azure king has accomplished is bringing criminals into the light, he is making this world _whole_ again!" Another commented said.

Controversy about the azure king was the continuing headlines for the Yokohama news station for months now. People feared…. he was a terrorist who was ruthless in his pursuit of his own _ideals_.

He was a criminal.

That was all he needed to know right now – that man was nothing more than a criminal ruining peace and destroying the justice system.

And criminals needed to be caught – even if it meant turning in his own brother.

* * *

 _What is ideal?_

 _There are many answers to that question._

 _But if you asked me, it would be as clear as daylight – it is the world I wish to create. This world is corrupted, tainted by the sins of human – there is no longer justice in this world…. Only pain, hurt, grief._

A pair of arms embraced him from behind as he stared into the sunset from the balcony.

"You're the only one who understands me." His voice said as his dirty blonde hair blew in the wind.

"and you're the only one who understands me too." Her voice is a lullaby that sways him to sleep on his deepest and darkest nights.

He kissed his dark black hair and looked into blue eyes.

"Promise me you'll make it through this. Promise me you won't leave me." She said.

He closed his eyes.

"I cannot."

She frowned.

"I don't care what it takes as long as you come back to me safely…. I will always be waiting for you…. _anata_." her voice is determined and he's reminded that she was _different_ just like him. (9)

He covers his face under thick straps of cloth and doesn't look back as he leaves through the door.

* * *

"How did you know I was here?" He's amused and stares down at the countless people crossing the busy streets of Yokohama.

Seventy stories above the ground and he sits on the edge of the building like he owned the place.

 _He always has been ignorant of death._

Of course, he knew he'd be here. He loved watching sunsets from the highest places he could find…and this was the place where the both of them _lost_ something important.

"This stops here, Ichirou." His long blonde hair sways in the wind as his fierce yellow eyes gaze into similar eyes.

 _How long had it been since he last said that name?_

"You haven't called me that in a very long time, _aniki_." Ichirou answers with a slight smirk. (10)

"You don't have the right to call me that anymore! _Teme_ , you abandoned that right when you executed all those people!" Kunikida's voice is strict and hurt. (11)

He loved him. He was his twin brother and they spent half their lives together. They were two halves of a whole, they had similar ideals and they understood each other no matter what….

And all that changed when their mother died at the exact spot of that crossing road just beneath them.

Ichirou clicked his tongue.

"You of all people should know exactly why I'm doing this! This world is corrupted – it needs to be changed! Those people do not deserve a second chance – I only did what needed to be done!" Ichirou yelled.

Kunikida scowled deeper.

Their mother died in the hands of a murderer who slit her throat wide open. Why? Because Ichirou was a high ranking official who made many, many enemies in his pursuit of justice. He did everything for the under-privileged civilians and went against powerful people – and as a result, his enemies hired a killer to kill off the mother he loved so much.

"You had so much potential, you were _gifted_ – and you wasted it on becoming a professor? You've changed…Doppo."

Kunikida took out his notebook and furrowed his eyebrows. He was furious.

"No….You're the one who changed, Ichirou. This isn't you… look at yourself. You were a government official, you had a rank – you had always been the _better_ one out of us….and now you're stooping to killing and blowing up buildings? Do you not know shame?! You're a terrorist now!"

He laughed and clenched his fists.

"it looks like you were the one who never understood me at all. What I'm doing right now – this is what I've always wanted. My ideal is to create the perfect world – so that no one….no one will ever have to suffer like us. No one will ever have to go through what we had to…." Ichirou trails off.

Kunikida stared in shock. He asked himself many things….why didn't he try harder? Why didn't he do something when his brother needed him at his deepest, darkest nights…. when their mother died, he should have done something. Ichirou was hurt… and right now it was all too late.

"And no one can stop me from completing my ideals. Not even you." Ichirou says as he pulls his mask closer to his face.

"Abnormal ability: Doppo Ginkaku!" Kunikida shouted as he tore apart a piece of paper from his notebook.

The paper glowed in his hand and a blinding light formed.

* * *

Ichirou took in deep breaths as blood seeped through his right arm. He knew he wasn't going to get far going against an abnormal ability user…. not to mention his brother was a skilled _judo_ master. It was sheer luck he managed to knock him out without fatally injuring him really.

" _Nasekenai na_? There's no way I'm going to let this end like this." He whispered to himself as he leaned against the wall. (12)

His phone vibrated as a text message was received.

 _Detectives on your trail. Your location's been compromised. Get out now._

"Nobuko…" He stared at the phone.

"Leaking information of my location to the police, Doppo? You really don't like losing, do you…." He says through gritted teeth and holds his suitcase.

He heard voices coming from the far corner as he scowled.

"Military, public safety bureau and national police all working together and the chain of command gets lost – so they send five measly detectives for me?" He smirked and tightened his grip on the metal suitcase in his hand.

"Surrender and turn yourself in, Azure king!" One detective yells and guns are aimed at his back.

"You're going to have to try harder than that." Ichirou says as he fires multiple shots at the detectives.

His shots missed and he makes a run for it with the detectives hot on his trail. Multiple bullets are sent towards his way as shouts get mixed up with the crossfire.

More blood is seeping through his torso and his breathing is ragged. He makes a turn for the room on the left and starts unlocking the suitcase.

Multiples wires and contraptions are inside the suitcase and he clenches his torso in pain.

"I will stand for my ideals till the end….nothing can stop me…"

"He's in here!" Ichirou hears yells from the outside of the locked door.

 _It won't be long till they send the door crashing down…_

"I promise you I'll find you in our next lives, Nobuko….."

And his hands press down on the trigger without a moment of hesitation.

(end of flashback)

* * *

"Are you visiting the graves of those who have lost their lives?"

Her black hair sways in the wind as sad blue eyes stare at the bundle of white daisies on the ground.

Kunikida doesn't turn to look at her or move away from the grave.

"Yes." His voice is hoarse and his eyes tired.

"When I first caused casualties during a job, I cried so much I couldn't get up and I took time off from work without leave."

His stare is embedded into the ground with one hand slid inside the pockets of his trousers.

"But now I don't even shed a tear – I just choose to visit their graves in exchange, or that's how I think of it."

Sasaki's eyes are emotionless and her hands clenched tighter around the edge of her skirt.

"Will the dead be comforted by tears?" She asked.

"I doubt they'd be comforted or redeemed by tears. After all, their time stopped at the moment of their deaths." Kunikida said.

His brother was never going to forgive him – and neither was he ever able to forgive himself. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought he could make things better – but it only made things worse. Many innocent people died, a good detective with a family died because of him – if he hadn't leaked the information to the police maybe, just maybe Rokuzou would still have a father and he didn't have to be a cyber-criminal instead.

Most importantly….

"I confess I told a lie earlier." Her voice is stern.

 _She_ wouldn't have to suffer.

"My significant other and I parted ways because he died." Her voice is laced with a slight hint of anger.

He knew who she was from the moment he saw her eyes – drowning and struggling for air. He always knew it was her.

When Kunikida found Ichirou's belongings in the old apartment they used to share - he found a picture of him and a girl. That was Ichirou and his lover, Sasaki Nobuko – the girl in front of his eyes right now. He would never forget those eyes – he spent too many times staring at that picture to ever forget the consequences of his actions weighed heavily in the air.

"I see." Kunikida said.

"What you said is true. Time no longer has any meaning for the _dead_. No matter what I may do for him, he cannot rejoice in it, nor smile because of it."

He closed his eyes and slowly opened them back. The sound of the church bell rung heavily and he turned to look at her face from the side.

"I lost my composure without meaning to." She turned around to face him, their eyes never meeting and she bowed.

"I have something to attend to if you would please excuse me." She said.

He stared at her back as she started taking steps away from him, his throat awfully dry and hoarse.

"Goodbye." She doesn't look back and all Kunikida can do is gasp with his mouth hung open.

 _What did she mean?_

His fingers twitched and he stared at her disappearing back trying to figure out if he heard wrong. What sounded like a normal goodbye sounded like she was leaving…. forever. His lips went dry, desperately trying to search for his voice.

His phone rang loudly and vibrated in his pocket but he kept staring – hesitating to reach for his phone. When he came back to his senses, he flipped his phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Kunikida-kun, I need you for something."

* * *

Haruko entered the shady looking building for the second time. She had no proof or whatsoever but she still strongly believed the person she was following had something to do with orchestrating the numerous attempts of putting down the agency. The bomb may have been deactivated and the boy was taken into custody but her instinct told her there was something missing.

And her theory was proven when she followed Sasaki Nobuko to the worn out building where the azure king blew himself up in the famous Azure king flag terrorist incident.

Haruko gasped when she heard the sound of numerous gunshots fired. She ran towards the building and halted to a stop when she saw blood.

Sasaki Nobuko was laying on the ground covered in blood and Rokuzou was holding a gun.

"The azure king killed my father…. this is revenge. Good riddance." Rokuzou's gun slipped right through his fingers as he closed his eyes.

Haruko was shocked. What happened? Why was Rokuzou here? Did he kill Sasaki Nobuko to avenge his father?

"Why?!" Kunikida's yell is loud and clear.

Why did the lover of his dead brother have to be the mastermind behind all of this? Why did she have to orchestrate the deaths of many innocent people? Why did the son of the detective that got killed in the explosion with his brother – the boy he tried so hard to make him a better person…why did he had to pull the trigger and become a killer?

"Why did this had to end this way? What went wrong? Who was wrong?" His yells were sharp and desperate.

 _I was wrong. If I had not caused my own brother to die…. None of this would have to happen. No one would have to die today._

Haruko cringed and lowered her head.

"No one was wrong." Dazai said.

"This was the only possible outcome."

Kunikida clicked his tongue in annoyance. He grabbed Dazai's collar with all the strength and ferocity he had in his system.

"Shut up! You could've saved her! Are you saying this is the righteous way to end things? Are you saying this is justice?"

Dazai looked into his eyes without a hint of fear.

"Justice is a weapon. It can be used to cause harm, but it cannot protect or save others. What killed Sasaki-san was, in the end, the justice of the azure king, and of _yours_."

Kunikida bit his lower lip. Dazai always knew…. Kunikida knew that sly man was the sharpest man in the detective agency. He clenched his fists and pushed Dazai away from him and glared at him.

"Kunikida-kun, as long as you pursue your ideals – the flames that burned in the azure king will one day take root in you…" Dazai looked up into Kunikida's eyes with serious intensity.

"And _raze_ everything around you."

"Even so…" Kunikida yelled.

Kunikida clenched his fists. Even if he is fated to someday follow the path of his dead brother, even if his ideals will someday be the death of him – he won't give up. He won't give up on his ideals – he will strive to the end until his last breath.

"Even so – I will still strive and push on till the end!" Kunikida bit his lower lip.

"Don't you dare underestimate my ideals!"

* * *

(1) Yi no ryouku - Abnormal ability

(2) Kisama - Bastard

(3) Yomotsu Hirasaka - Following the legend of izanagi and izanami, Yomotsu Hirasaka is the border of the underworld and the living.

(4) Honmio - Real name

(5) Kamikazari - traditional hair ornament. usually adored with a floral pattern.

(6) Nijiro tentomushi - rainbow ladybug

(7) Kechi - stingy

(8) Jousei - lady

(9) Anata - Darling

(10) Aniki - brother

(11) Teme - bastard

(12) Nasekenai na- how embarassing of me

* * *

I don't think I've ever written a fanfic while the anime is still being aired – plus writing a 6500 word fic in one week has been one hell of a new record. This is my own version of how Kunikida is related the azure king and I highly doubt my version is anything close to what the truth really is. I plan on reading the light novel first once the anime has ended its run. Do tell me your reviews on my version of this – and I liked to say there is only subtle romance hinted in here since this is mainly more of a crime/mystery centered fic.

A possible **sequel** to this (focusing more on Haruko and some pretty amazing plot twists?) might be published if the feedback is good. I have plans on coming up with a more romance-oriented sequel where we explore their relationship and how Dazai will be playing more of an unexpected role. So if you liked this be sure to **vote, comment, review, kudos** and make sure you share this to let your friends know ;) the better feedback the more possible a sequel.

Fun fact: Sasaki Nobuko is the first wife of Kunikida Doppo in real life – she's a real douchebag though. They got divorced 5 months after their marriage. The OC is named after his second wife, Haruko Enomoto – where I was originally going to name her Kobayashi Airi.


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